The importance of learning how to be alone may go unnoticed. You may fear loneliness, but these two states are not synonymous.
A couple of years ago, I went to San Francisco alone for a conference. Since it was my first time visiting, I decided that I’d stay through the weekend and explore the city. I woke up each morning and walked to a little diner down the street from my hotel for food, rode a sightseeing tour bus around town, and visited a bunch of local attractions.
It didn’t take long for me to notice how freeing it all felt.
I won’t pretend that doing things with other people always sucks. Even the greatest experiences can be made better when shared. But being and doing things alone shouldn’t be viewed as a negative or circumstance to be avoided. There are many pleasures to be derived from autonomous outings and adventures.
This is where you can really focus on personal joy and learn to love yourself.
When doing things alone, you can focus 100 percent on you, your needs, and desires with no outside interference. You can do what makes you happy and make decisions without having to consider the feelings of or consult with another. This is important because pouring into others without replenishing yourself is how you end up trying to pour from an empty cup.
You need those times of self-indulgence for your mental and emotional well-being. Even if you spend that time doing nothing at all.
Focusing on yourself serves as a reminder that you matter. You see yourself as a whole person and are reminded of who you are, independent of anyone else. In these moments, that person feels like enough.
This feeling is the importance of learning how to be alone.
If you’re a woman who struggles with being alone, my book may help.